Drastic Changes
by ExpectationsAndDisappointment
Summary: Faberry. Quinn realizes how much she likes Rachel and decides to go for it. So much more than that..
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, sorry this isn't much. I wrote this a while ago, and have a lot more written actually. I'll post if people want.. which I hope you do?! Review, pm me, whatever! x**

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_Oh. My. GOD. Today, I realized something huge. How could I have not seen it before? Or maybe I just never wanted to admit it.. Either way, I've realized how much I really like her. How much I really, REALLY like her. I don't know how or why she makes me feel like this. Every time I see her, butterflies. Every time I 'accidentally' bump into her, butterflies. Every single time she sings in glee, more butterflies! God, it makes me want her to myself. And so, I'll try. One day, Rachel Berry will be mine._

Quinn closed her journal and put the lock back on it. That would be her millionth time reading that entry from three months ago. After that day, she hadn't written anything else. She was waiting to get Rachel so she could write about them. As a couple. She secured the lock and put it in a shoe box.. And then in the back of her closet. There, it'll be safe.

Ever since Quinn moved back home after getting pregnant and being kicked out, her mother, Judy, told her to keep a journal. Just to have somewhere to keep her thoughts, private and safe. When she gave birth to Beth, she started to close off the rest of the word, until she started writing her thoughts down. She realized what a bitch she use to be and decided it was time for a change.

When she realized what a repressed bitch she was, she genuinely wanted to change. And she took that change seriously. She apologized to everyone she'd every slushied or made fun of at McKinley High. She dropped the superficial barbie act and started being herself. She was happier and made more friends. One of those friends was Rachel.

Of course everybody was shocked to see the school's HBIC with the biggest glee dork, but Quinn had changed. She changed for the better and became best friends with Rachel. And she never once thought about the possibility of _liking_ her. Not in that way, anyway. But of course, life is full of surprises, this one being Rachel. Who knew how sweet, funny, and down to earth this girl is? And now, Quinn was falling for all of that. She was falling for Rachel Berry. But what should she do? How could she even tell the girl about her feelings?

Quinn and Rachel had become close friends over the past year. Rachel helped her get through the aftermath of Beth's birth and Quinn was a friend to Rachel. It was perfect. They were so different; they balanced each other out. Rachel calmed Quinn down when she was getting mad or upset. Quinn helped Rachel let go of the need to be in the spot light all the time. That one was hard, but it has definitely improved.

Quinn came home from school one day in an exceedingly good mood. But of course she'd be in a good mood; her last class was glee, and glee meant Rachel. Just being around her made her day amazing.. Amazing is what she'll be needing after today.

Quinn walked into her living room to find her parents sitting together, not saying a word. She felt the tension as soon as she walked in. Judy and Russel just sat there in silence. The tv was off, dinner wasn't cooking, and are Judy's eyes red and puffy? This can't be good.

"What happened?" Quinn asked cautiously as she walked further in the room.

"Sit down," Russel replied coldly. Yeah, this definately can't be good.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Had the day off school, so decided to post! Thanks for all of the follows/favorites/reviews! They are very much appreciated. It took me a while to actually post anything because I was afraid of what people would think about what I write, but I'm glad I did. Honestly, to everyone who reads and reviews my stories; THANK YOU. x**

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Quinn sat nervously for the next five minutes waiting for someone to speak. The tension was ridiculous. _Anything but silence would be better than this_, Quinn thought. Boy, was she wrong. "We read your diary today," Russel started in a stern voice. Quinn immediately looked up. _Oh my God._ A million thoughts raced across her mind. _How? Why? Wha-_ "You're a disgrace to this family. You're sick, you know that? How DARE you. In my house! You nasty, sinful.. We forgave you once for being stupid enough to get pregnant, but THIS! You're going to grab whatever you can in five minutes, and then you're going to get the hell out of my house! No daughter of mine will be a fucking dyke!"

In tears and utterly shocked, Quinn looked to her mother, who only looked away with a look that can only be disappointment. Quinn got up and ran towards her room. She grabbed her cheer duffel bag and stuffed as much clothes in her bag possible. She stuffed her diary, which was now on her bed, in her bag and sprinted out the door as fast as she could, slamming the door in the process. She could barely see with the tears blurring her vision, but ran to the only place she could think of.

..

Quinn sat at a little pond at a completely abandoned park, just crying. Just like she had done a year ago when her parents found out about her pregnancy. It was the same, except much worse this time. It was the second time and she knew it would be the last. Her family would never accept her for who she is. It was a nasty sin in their eyes, something she chose, disgracing the family name.

But Quinn knew better.

She had always known she was different. She never really felt a real attraction towards guys. She always hated sleepovers because that's all girls wanted to do. Boys, boys, and _more_ boys. It was the thing she dreaded most about sleepovers. There's nothing worse than being stuck in the middle of a conversation with absolutely no interest. To make matters worse, she'd have to fake being interested. If she didn't add her own thoughts, she wouldn't be in control. People may start to see who she really was. Even though Quinn now accepted herself, it had taken a long time. She could easily see if a boy was attractive, but that didn't mean she was attracted _to_ him. She had forced herself to be, though. That's how she ended up being sixteen and pregnant. There's one road that could have been avoided if she had an accepting family.

Quinn shivered all over as her body shook uncontrollably. She cried and cried just looking out onto the pond. It was seven o'clock and starting to get dark. She had nowhere to stay. Sure, she had friends, but they'd be curious. They'd ask why she was suddenly kicked out of her own house. When she wouldn't want to answer, they'd push her. They would ask and ask until she broke.

And Quinn Fabray can't break. Not in front of anyone.

Quinn was crying so hard she didn't realize the person running towards her. "Oh my God, Quinn!" Quinn looked up from her knees where she buried her face to see a very worried Rachel Berry. _Great._ Quinn quickly wiped her tears away, sat up, and tried to look presentable. It didn't work. "Are you ok? What happened? Quinn, talk to me!" Rachel panicked.

"I'm fine," Quinn finally choked out. "I'm ok, I just needed some air, thanks. But I really should be going, it's getting late. So, I'll see you tomorrow." Quinn's eyes were already pouring, so she turned around with her bag in her arm and walked away, leaving a very confused Rachel behind. Rachel stood there very concerned and confused. She'd never seen Quinn that upset. Not even when she was going through her pregnancy. What happened?

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**Sorry the chapters are so short. I think they'll gradually be getting longer..**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I apologize for taking forever. Again. So much has been going on lately. It's actually a miracle that I got this chance to post. Anyways, I'll post two chapters today, even though the next is even shorter than this one.. Once again sorry! Please have patience with me.;p**

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Quinn stepped onto a wooden porch and contemplated whether to ring the doorbell. She knew she'd be able to stay the night, she just didn't know if she could handle explaining her situation. But she has to. Where else could she go? Before she could change her mind, the door swung open. A very concerned Santana stood on the other side. "Q, what happened?" Santana studied Quinn. She's breathing hard, like she'd just ran a marathon. Her face is red, she has puffy eyes, and she's carrying her cheerios duffle. Santana grabbed her wrist and pulled Quinn into the house.

"I, uh, can I stay the night?" Quinn asked through her tears.

"Sure, just tell me what happened," Santana comforted and led Quinn upstairs to her room. They sat down on Santana's bed. Quinn took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. "I'm gay" she blurted out.

"Ok.. And?" Quinn looked up, not knowing how to continue. "If that's what you're crying about, then I'll stop you right there. Why would you think I would react any differently? I mean, I have awesome gaydar and you know about me and Britts, so-"

"That's not all," Quinn interupted. Santana waited for her to continue. "I wrote about it in my journal.. My parents read it.." Quinn looked down sobbing. It was just too hard to continue.

"Please don't tell me they kicked you out again, Q." Quinn barely nodded as she covered her face with her hands and broke down. Santana rushed over and enveloped the blonde in a hug.

"I- I wrote about- they know I like her. They said I was disgusting. I'm a disgrace to the family. Just because I'm not the perfect, straight Christian girl they wish they had!" Quinn yelled through her tears.

"Wait, who?" Santana asked. Quinn looked up, obviously confused. "Who did you write about? The girl you like?"

"Rachel," Quinn whispered as soon as she calmed her sobbing. "I love Rachel." She looked worried, as if Santana wouldn't approve. I mean, Rachel Berry, the girl they use to tease a year ago. Yes, Quinn made amends and became friends with her, but Santana didn't have to do the same. For Quinn's sake, she stopped the slushies and even had civil conversations with her.. sometimes. But, Rachel and Santana aren't exactly best friends, either.

"Look, Q, I'm sorry if I made you feel like I wouldn't accept the fact that you like Rachel. You love who you love, and it honestly shouldn't matter who. It shouldn't matter what gender they are, or how popular they are. You can't help who you like. You can't help who you love. So nobody should be judged for it. And I know our friendship is kind of weird because we're kind of bitchy to each other, but I love you. You're my best friend and I've always got your back." Quinn looked up and half smiled, tears still in her eyes. "You can stay here, Q. It'll be ok."

..

After a long night of crying and comforting from an unusually nice Santana, Quinn slept like a baby. In the morning, she woke up to Santana's blaring alarm next to the bed. The brunette jumped to turn it off and sat up. "You don't have to go to school today if you don't want to. My parents aren't suppose to get home until tonight, so you can just hang here or something." She made her way to her closet and picked out a clean cheerios uniform.

"I'll come. I could use a distraction." Quinn got up, ready to conquer the day. She looked into the mirror and saw her puffy red eyes. "Shit. Do you have some sunglasses I can borrow?" Santana reached over her dresser and grabbed a pair. "Keep them," she said and tossed the sunglasses to Quinn.

"Thanks." She grabbed her bag and slipped into the bathroom to get ready. She looked into the mirror and told herself she could do this. Quinn Fabray can get through this. Nobody will know. Nobody will be able to tell that she was going through a lot.. So she hoped.

The day went by like every other boring day at Mickenly High. Everything was the same except the sad feeling she had and the urge to cry. Sometimes she did. Her eyes would water behind her sunglasses and she'd have to excuse herself to the bathroom. This didn't go unnoticed. Finally, last hour came and it was time for glee. This hour would probably be the worst. Everyone in the class cares about her, therefore they'd probably comfort her. That makes everything worse. If everyone could just leave her alone, she wouldn't be remined and cry about her pitiful life.

"Alright class," Mr. Shue spoke as he shut his classroom door. "You had an assignment this week. Today's Thursday, which means half of you will go. Who wants to go first?" _Shit._ Quinn thought. She completely forgot she was going to look for a song she'd have to sing. _Shit.. Again. Shit shit shit._ She thought about what the theme of the week was. "Think of being in a dark place. You're alone. You don't havr anyone to talk to.." I_ can't do this. Maybe if I just excuse myself and just not come back, then-_ "Rachel! Come on up and take the floor," Mr. Shue smiled as Rachel walked towards the front of the room. _SHIT._ Quinn continued staring at the floor through her dark shades. She can do this. _I'm ready._ Quinn thought.

"I remember first hearing this song on pandora when I was at Quinn's before. I'm not really sure what station we were listening to, but it was interesting. And I know the group isn't near as popular as Barbara or anything, but they're different. So, here goes." Then Rachel began to sing.

_Please, please forgive me,_  
_But I won't be home again, _  
_Maybe someday you'll look up, _  
_And barely conscious you'll say to no one: _  
_Isn't something missing?_

Quinn swallowed the lump in her throat and continued listening.

_You won't cry for my absence, I know, _  
_You forgot me long ago, _  
_Am I that unimportant? _  
_Am I so insignificant? _  
_Isn't something missing? _  
_Isn't someone missing me?_

_DON'T cry!_ Quinn commanded herself. Tears swelled in her eyes and started to run down her cheeks. She furiously wiped them and tried to steady her breathing. She tried to focus on anything else but the music and her own sadness.

_Even though I'm the sacrifice, _  
_You won't try for me, not now, _  
_Though I'd die to know you love me, _  
_I'm all alone, _  
_Isn't someone missing me?_

Not able to control herself, she stood up and quickly ran out the room. She ran into the bathroom and locked herself in a stall. _Oh God, shit. Where'd I put that damn enhaler?_ She opened her purse and felt around the inside of the bag. _Shit. Damn it. Shit shit shit, damn. Damn it._ Of course. She forgot it at her house. Nobody knew about her horrible anxiety and asthema. She was always too cool for things like that to happen to her. Too perfect. The bathroom door swung open and someone walked in. Quinn tried to quiet her sobs but only made herself sob louder and made it harder to breath.

"Quinn?"


	4. Chapter 4

Quinn cleared her throat and tried to make her voice sound strong. "Yeah?" She let out. She sounded like a mess.

"Please let me in," she heard Rachel softly knock on her stall door. Slowly, Quinn unlocked the door and backed up so Rachel could come in. Rachel walked in and locked the door behind her. She looked up at the girl who stood less than a foot away from her. She couldn't be any farther, considering the tiny space the stall allowed them. Quinn had taken her sunglasses off, showing she had absolutely no make up on. She shook with sobs as she tried holding them in. It hurt Rachel seeing her friend like this. What happened to her? She was perfectly fine at school yesterday. What could be so different between then and now?

"Come here," Rachel whispered and pulled Quinn in for a hug. Quinn leaned into the hug and held on tightly. She let herself cry into the shoulder of the girl she loves. It felt good but hurt so bad at the same time. She loves this girl. _So_ much. It hurt so much knowing that she could like someone so much and she'll never feel the same.

"Rach," Quinn whispered as she tried to control her breath. "I can't breathe."

"Oh sorry," Rachel let go of Quinn and backed away a little.

"No," Quinn choked out. "I really can't breathe! I- uh, anxiety and I uh, I don't feel good. I- my inhaler's lost." Quinn continued to cry as tears rolled down her pale cheeks.

Hearing that set Rachel into panick mode. But surely she couldn't show that when her best friend was having a panic attack. "You need to breathe, Quinn! Breath deeply, come on now." When it didn't work Rachel had another idea. "Ok, I'm going to give you mouth to mouth. I think I saw it in a movie," Rachel leaned in and grabbed Quinn's cheeks.

"No!" Quinn yelled and nearly fell on the toilet. "I don't need- I'll be fine. Just let me-" she leaned behind Rachel and opened the stall door before she slipped out of the stall. The last thing she needed was Rachel's lips on hers. She'd probably pass out right then.

"Quinn! Sit down, you're turning grey! I'm going to get help. Sit down!" She yelled as she ran out of the bathroom. _Oh God,_ Quinn thought. _I should probably sit.._ The room started spinning before everything went black.

..

"Quinn? Are you awake? Quinn?" Slowly Quinn opened her eyes and saw Rachel staring down at her, looking very concerned. "Oh my God, how do you feel?" Rachel crawled onto the bed next to Quinn. She tried to sit up but winced with the pain that shot through the back of her head.

"God, ow. What happened?" The last thing she remembered was having an anxiety attack in the bathroom.

"You passed out in the bathroom when I went to get help. You really should have sat down when I told you to. Anyways, you hit your head on the floor, but I got an extra inhaler from the nurse and you started breathing regularly again."

"Oh," was all Quinn could get out. "Did.. Who all knows what happened?" She asked.

"Just the glee club and the nurse," Rachel replied. "Oh yeah, that reminds me. Santana threatened to go, quote unquote, 'all lima heights on the nurse's ass' for trying to call your mom." She laughed. "And Santana said something about you needing to stay somewhere tonight? Santana's parents came home earlier than expected and got mad about the house being a mess and grounded her. So, you can stay here."

"Did she call her?" Quinn's eyes widened, ignoring Rachel's offer. Not that her parents would have done anything. "Did the nurse call my mom?"

"No, she didn't," Rachel answered and Quinn looked relieved. "Are you fighting with your parents or something?" Maybe that was the wrong question to ask. Quinn's eyes started watering and she looked out the window. This is when she just realized she was in Rachel's room. On Rachel's bed. With Rachel. Who is asking about her parents.. Quinn looked up at Rachel who half-smiled sincerely.

"It's a long story," She looked away and sniffled. She wondered how her bag had gotten from her locker to Rachel's room, considering nobody knew her locker combination.

"Well tell me, I've got as much time as you need," Rachel smiled and hugged the blonde. What was Quinn going to do? The perfect girl is sitting next to her, wanting to know the truth, to comfort her. What else is there to do than tell the thruth?


End file.
